Conversations With My 20 Year Old Self

I turned forty this year. It’s been like a coming of age or at least that’s what it feels like. I now totally understand what “over the hill” means which ISN’T that you’re now an old badger on the sad downward slide with nothing to look forward to in life other than your immenient death.

It just means you’re on the other side of life.

It’s a different outlook from here and there’s no way on earth (or hell) that I am planning for that to turn into a tragic one. I’m planning of it being more like sliding down the best slide of my life, giving less fucks, and visiting all the places of me and life I’ve not yet explored.

In fact I feel that the upward walk on that very same hill was tougher and, up until this point, a walk I made way more difficult for myself than necessary but hey, how are you supposed to know that until you’re on the other side?! So, sitting up here before I begin my descent to a hopefully fun and wild ride I want to pause, look around and have a conversation with my twenty year old self.

Hey London,

Don’t spend you’re life worrying about people who couldn’t give a shit about you.

If men, ahem – boys, don’t make an effort to see you, talk to you or introduce you then they are not that keen nor are they worth your heart break, time or tears.

When friends care more about the next coolest person to walk into a room rather than those they’re in company with it says more about their insecurities then yours.

Speaking of insecurities – everyone has them! Yes, even the prettiest girl in the school. Be kind!

Life is more than just looks, clothes, weight, and hanging with the cool kids – something I’m still learning.

Cry. But own it then let it go.

Teachers, parents and “old people” are human too. Ask them more questions. Learn more stuff. Swim in their “wise” from time to time.

Find confidence in everything you do.

Forgive. Yourself and others becasue “Resentment is like drinking posion and waiting for the other person to die.” Damn straight Saint Augustine!

Just because you’re not the best doesn’t mean you’re invaluable! Fuck that! You can’t have a first place without a second it is as simple as that.

You are alive. You are breathing. You are having a once in a lifetime experience! There’s no second chances. There’s no coming back (that we know of) and there’s no time like the present to be kinder to yourself and to those around you.

If it doesn’t feel right then it probably isn’t.

There is no destination in life. Live one day at a time and ask yourself – is it what I want or am I following someone who thinks they’re the leader. You do you boo.

The last piece of advice I’d give is to laugh more. Sooo flipping cliche but how goddam good does a night out feel when you’re in the company of awesome people who you can laugh with?! People who light you up, lift you up and bring pant-pissing happiness into your day. It’s the best feeling in the world. It’s the best medicine. It’s the most amazing gift you can give no matter how kooky your laugh is.

So my little laughing hyenas – let it rip!

|London Dene|

LD Quote 2

3 thoughts on “Conversations With My 20 Year Old Self

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