I have this urge to write. I have it all day every day.
I can only compare this urge to being an addict of any kind – food, drugs, sex, pimple popping… the itch, the need, the obsession to want to eat it, snort it, hump it or pop it.
Most days though, I can’t think of a word to say because I have so much else going on in my life. But I still feel it in the background like something is bubbling inside me. My hands get itchy, my heart churns, and I long for an hour or two to myself to write.
Then when I do, magically, have that time, I procrastinate.
I see washing that needs to be folded, floors that need to be cleaned, social media that has to be scrolled.
Procrastination is one of the most toxic things in my life. The other being my body loathing and food addiction – which kinda go hand-in-hand.
I recently heard that procrastination is like masturbation. It feels good while you are doing it, but in the end, you are only fucking yourself.
Crude but 100% true.
Stop fucking yourself by procrastinating.
Procrastination is the thief of time! And really we don’t have that much! Time I mean.
So this post is being said to me as much as it is to you…
Stop making ‘busy’. Stop thinking the dust under the couch is more important than that novel you want to write. Stop watching crap TV. Stop scrolling! Stop wasting your time deeply involved in strangers lives or the highlight reels of your friends/family/acquaintances.
Honestly, every hour that goes by when you tell yourself you’ll “just have a quick look” or just watch one episode is like throwing the hours left in your life down into the sewers and shouting to the universe “My time is not relevant! What I want out of life DOES NOT MATTER! I love fucking myself over!”
But it does! It DOES FUCKING MATTER! Your time, the things important to you, the time you want to prioritise into the things that fill up your cup!
I think now that I am 40-something I can see the road to the end of my life – if I’m lucky enough to have another 40.
It is going to be here before I know it and I don’t want to continue wasting my time wrapped up in the cocoon of other peoples lives!
Of course we need some downtime – it’s not about hustling or creating this “busy” we all talk of.
But it is doing what we need to do and then prioritising what we love!
We have to be real – we all have to do things we don’t love. We do them to get paid, to keep the kids alive, to keep our houses seemingly sanitary and to keep our body functioning.
So just do them asap, as quickly as possible, as passionately as possible AND THEN gift yourself more time to do what you LOVE! What creates that urge, that itch, that need. That MUST!
Every hour of your day is important.
Promise me you will start dedicating your life, even if it’s just an hour a week, on the things that make you feel alive, whole, purposeful, passionate and fulfilled.
I’ll promise if you do too – LD ||