Planned Redemption

Redemption is quite possibly not the right word I’m looking for here: more a salvation or rebirth or just a plan to save my sorry arse from this crippling anxiety.

Step One: Music Integration.
Music has always been a form of therapy for me. Whether I’m singing broken-hearted ballads or happy life-celebrating songs, there is always some playlist that gives my day its very own soundtrack. Music plugging up my ears also helps me work better and, ironically, concentrate more. It makes me forget I am cleaning or exercising, and it motivates me to keep moving forward by blocking out the noise of my brain.

Step Two: Step One + Conscious Breathing.
Music plus deep breathing and gentle stretches (aka yoga) will be my day starter from now on. I have created a playlist in prep for my morning. Just a few minutes to get started until I develop a new, healthier habit. I plan on discussing this with my kids and husband, so they will know not to interrupt me and just leave me in peace for five fucking minutes. They need me to have these few uninterrupted minutes as much as I need them.

Step Three: Quiet the Mind.
I will intentionally bring awareness to my overthinking, catastrophising thoughts with conscious interruptions. Just like flicking an elastic band on my wrist to snap a change in my patterns of thoughts, overriding the shit that continues to haunt me and try to develop new kinder self-talk.

And that’s it for now—small steps. Small yet conscious, and we will see how I go. Like my close friends said – one day at a time.

LD ||

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